After talking one night with some pretty cool people. I've decided to post a journal entry. This one's for you Ahn.
One night I wrote while listening to two songs put on repeat---Canaan Bound and Silence of God by Andrew Peterson. They got me in the mood to write.
Why can't he go away
Come again another day?
Like the rain or maybe not come at all.
Like when the sun comes out
Melts the freshly laid snow
What are feelings?
Why do they happen
even when God doesn't
want them too?
I know feelings can be overcome
but why do they have to
be so hard to let go?
God help me, I need you
I've prayed to you and it
seems you don't hear me.
Please help me overcome this
I know I can't do it
Only through your power and strength
Isaiah was a friend I made when I first moved to Florida. He died of cancer last summer.
I never was a good influence.
During that year I let God go.
Thinking it wouldn't affect anyone but myself.
I was wrong! So wrong. Death came
creeping upon a friend with no thought from anyone.
Death to one so young wasn't thought
I didn't know and if at that point I did.
I would have just felt sorry for him.
God knew but yet I still wonder..
Did he know God? WHat if I was different?
Isaiah haunts me.
He makes me want to never stop
working for thought that
someone might die without knowing Christ.
But yet, everyday someone does.
Please Lord, come home soon!
I hate this dirty devilish world.
This is me just thinking about how when I want to change something I have to change it with myself first. If I see something wrong then instead of complaining and talking about it, I need to kneel down and pray about it.
It starts with Me.
Not you, not them.
If I want to see something change.
I have to be the first one to change it.
I'm the complainer who
thinks of all the solutions to solve
everyone's problems but my own.
The devil can get me caught anywhere in
A situation, even if it's something
that is good in God's eyes.
My God is bigger than that cunning serpent.
It starts with me, not you, not them.